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gasoline

by small disasters

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1.
you’re just sitting there, waiting for someone to say the right words. just say them yourself. you spend your days dreaming of a better version of yourself. just take care of your health. the only moment is the one we’re in. why aren’t you taller? why can’t you sing? why can’t you ever express how you’re feeling without a few drinks? the only moment is the one we’re in. if you keep looking backwards you’ll lose track of time. and all those charming bad habits will come to define all the moments you call the best parts of your life -- glassy eyes in old photos, the record reflects your decline.
2.
you look like a photograph, ripped in half, with a wild story just out of frame. there’s maybe a different cast with a checkered past but nobody here has heard their names. so you get to start again like it’s different. you won’t ever make the same mistakes. for now, it’s a full display. it could stay that way; or you could tear it in half again. something on the other side has made you what you are. but they only see a glass and a coat on the bar. the picture never fades. there’s a table in the back full of long lost stars. and then there’s you in a suit that doesn’t fit. winking at the lens. breaking promises. barely breathing. barely feeling. barely there at all. you look like a photograph ripped in half. and a piece of you has flown away. you've still got some decent parts but your ripped up heart won't ever beat the same again. but you've got your wrong suit size and your stupid eyes, wide or winking back at them. and you've got your camera. after all, you'll wanna lock up all the negatives.
3.
when you first felt this way, son, we didn’t know what to do so we let you run off to la with that boy you knew. he was timid and quiet, a canary in a cage. under sodium lights, set free, you flew away. now we’re watching the city burn and from where i stand it looks like a funeral pyre. haven’t you had enough of this yet? you’ve got to come back from the place where you belong. haven’t you had enough of all this foolishness? a rebel with a cause and too many secrets. please come home. we love you so, so much. i know you love to love the love you had, and i know you knew exactly who you were. you are not your own, you were brought home with a price. kentucky’s the altar. you’re the sacrifice. i know shame is a gateway drug. i know trauma’s a gateway drug. i know you’ve always been enough. i know you’ll always be enough.

credits

released June 12, 2023

words and music by small disasters
artwork by sleepy dave kotinsley
additional vocals on "casino desperation" by jenarchy

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small disasters Gainesville, Florida

jon - guitar/vox
jc - bass/vox
sterling - guitar/vox
danny - drums

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